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A bitter kind of optimist
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| Sisters. |
[28 Jun 2009|08:30pm] |
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mood |
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 amused |
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Today is my middle sister*s birthday, & we met up with her for dinner. I texted her to ask her if she was wearing one of the two dresses that we bought together, to make sure we didn*t show up in the same dress. This is how that conversation went:
Me: Are you wearing your purple maxi dress?
Sister: Nope!
Me: I am.
Sister: Ok. Can I wear purple?
Me: Course!
Sooo... I walk into the restaurant & this is what we were both wearing:
I thought it was hilarious. We specifically spoke to make sure we didn*t show up in the same outfit. Not only did we wear the same DRESS, but we wore the same tank top (which we DIDN*T buy together - the thing doesn*t even NEED to be worn with a tank top!) & black flops. I was DYING! Her husband was quite amused, as well. LOL
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[23 Apr 2009|09:44pm] |
The video below is the most boring thing ever, but the purpose of the post is the song. I absolutely LOVE the cover Joshua Radin did of Yaz*s "Only You":
This is the original song (there was never a music video, I guess, but this is the "jist" of it):
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| LOL!! |
[12 Apr 2009|08:53pm] |
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mood |
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 giggly |
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"You may play a mean game of mental chess... but I play checkers... and I will jump you."
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| Ch-ch-ch-CHANGES! |
[21 Mar 2009|11:10am] |
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mood |
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 thoughtful |
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Jerem & I celebrated our FIVE YEAR anniversary on Tuesday (St. Patrick*s Day)! : ) ♥
That got us talking about when we first hooked up, & how long five years is. & we started talking about how much we*ve changed in these five years. More me than him, ha.
Thinking back to who I was five years ago - even two or three years ago - is truly like seeing a different person. I was uncomfortable in my own skin. I didn*t wanna work for ANYTHING - money, health, success. I had always been given everything, so working for things was a foreign way to get there. Committing to ONE BOY for five years was NEVER going to happen - & I mean NEVER; I just KNEW I would NEVER find anyone I could stand enough to be with for that long. My friends were my entire world, & I cared ENTIRELY way too much about what they thought of me. I spent my paychecks before I had them & then had to borrow money from my sister, my friends, Jeremy... I didn*t pay my bills on time, & I was ALWAYS stressed out about money. I was lazy, & I hated anything that took effort.
I*ve grown out of most of that, & warped into someone with the same heart, but new perspectives. I*ve grown & changed with Jeremy... & we*ve been through quite a few challenges, but looking at us now, it all really DID make us stronger. We respect each other, & we have created the healthiest relationship I*ve ever witnessed. &&&! After seeing me change so much in five years, he understands why I*m not a fan of marriage. People change, & while I changed for the better, you can*t always be sure it*s going to happen that way. & he understands that & supports it.
I worked my ass off to get to where I am in my job right now, & it*s DEFINITELY paying off. I*ve said it 3974 times before, & I*m going to say it again: my department is INCREDIBLE. The managers truly want to see us all be successful, & they do everything in their power to make sure that happens. I started in this department as a paper-pusher, & I*ve taken on SO MANY new projects & new roles & responsibilities. My supervisor has a ridiculous amount of knowledge, & she*s making me her proxy, which is absolutely fantastic - I get to work my brain EVERY DAY, & overcome new challenges EVERY DAY. This is a nice change from what I*ve had in jobs in the past - people who want to make sure they are the only ones with any knowledge, who want to hold everyone else down so that they can shine. It*s exciting! & I have a 401K that I actually put money in!
I remember trying SO MANY ridiculous diets just so I could continue fitting into the clothes at the stores I liked to shop at. & I LOATHE restrictive clothes, so if anything is too tight or uncomfortable in the slightest, everyone around me is going to hear about it. Ha. I*ve completely changed my diet & eat nutritious foods. I work out at least four days a week, it*s a priority to me, & guess what? I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. I STILL cannot believe I am saying this. Cardio is the most amazing stress-killer, & happiness-booster! I try to get out & jog, hike, ride my bike, whatever - when the weather is nice like it has been lately. Being outside & being able to exercise at the same time is the GREATEST GIFT from nature!!
While I still care deeply about my friends, I*ve definitely learned that I can*t care about them more than they care about themselves. I had SUCH an unhealthy perspective of what a friendship was supposed to be. Being woken up from that was an EXTREMELY stressful process. But at this point, I have ONLY the people who matter surrounding me. Life is SO much more peaceful this way! & I am a LUCKY girl. I*ve met people along the way who have played important roles in my life, & though they aren*t people who matter NOW, I appreciate them because they*ve all helped me to get to where I am right now.
My paychecks don*t get spent before I have them anymore! My bills are paid on time, if not early! This is MONUMENTAL for me to be able to say. When I used to say "I*m broke", it meant "I spent every penny I had & am using money borrowed from my friend to pay for gas to get me to work till I get paid in another week." Of course, making more money is helpful, but they say the more you earn, the more you spend, & that*s not proving to be true for me anymore. I still maintain that I would rather blow money on experiences than save it, & I would rather go to a special concert & have to bring lunch from home instead of going out with co-workers for a week, but for the most part, that isn*t even an issue anymore. &&&! I have my annual review this Thursday, & I am excited to see what that means for my paychecks.
& a big fat YAY! for being almost halfway to my Bachelor*s degree! : D & for making some pretty awesome pals along the way!
Thanks to anyone who actually read this far. I know not many people use LJ anymore, but this is like a history timeline for me. : )
I*m off to a spring training game! One of the highlights of spring. : D
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| Introspect on a Friday night. |
[26 Sep 2008|11:17pm] |
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mood |
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thoughtful |
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Well. I was invited out by five different people to do five different things, & I was having the hardest time deciding which one sounded like the most fun. Then I decided I wanted to stay in & read. Ha. Instead, I*m sitting here talking to my sister/best friend over myspace. Mercury retrograde sure does inspire some introspective thinking!!
While I was driving home from a birthday party tonight, I realized out of the blue that my dad would be proud of who I am right now. I am FINALLY at a place where I am confident in that. It has taken me a LONG TIME, but I*m here. By no means does that mean that I place all of my value in whether or not my dead father would be proud of me, but it feels good to know that he would. More importantly, IIII am proud of me. I*m doing right for the first time in my life, & I am EXACTLY where I think a 26 year old should be.
( This poem ) inspired a nightmare in me last night. At some point in 2006, my good friend Kevin opened my mind in a big way. He*s basically taught me how to think critically for myself. Since then, I have become EXTREMELY passionate about politics & where this country is headed (among other things). Anyway - I had that poem emailed to me last night, & I read it carefully during a break from class. I didn*t think much about it after that. I went out with my learning team after class & went to bed at about 1:30. I had a horrible dream! I dreamed that I was sleeping with Jeremy & my sister (?!), & we were sleeping completely under the covers, which had become natural because we were hiding from the government. The country was basically going through a Holocaust (but not the extreme versions of the Holocaust like we were taught in school – the kind of Holocaust that actually happens – where it*s so subtle that no one realizes it*s happening). An Asian came into my condo & pointed a gun at my head & tried to force me to go with him. I was kicking & screaming, elbowing; trying my hardest to wake my sister & Jeremy up, but to no avail. They continued sleeping through it, until I was finally ripped from my bed. That*s when I woke up.
I think it*s an extremely significant dream in regards to my feelings on politics & what is going on in the country/world recently. I feel like I am CONSTANTLY trying to get people to wake the fuck up & see that our country is falling apart; our rights are being stripped; there are inside terrorist attacks going on all the time; we are headed for our own Holocaust… quickly. & I feel like it*s so blatantly obvious, & it*s absolutely petrifying that people either don*t see it or – worse – just don*t care. When Clay Aiken*s sexual preference is the #1 news story over a $700 BILLION dollar tax issue, something is SERIOUSLY wrong. Jeremy said it best - Americans deserve everything that*s coming, because this stuff is happening right in front of our faces & no one does anything about it.
………
I went back to my doctor Wednesday. I have to go to physical therapy for my hip, three times a week for four weeks. : ( I am SO BUMMED. I was hoping to be healed so I could start jogging & playing soccer again. I*m gonna have to splurge on a bike so I can get SOME type of cardio in; I just don*t feel right without it – I have no way to blow off steam, or something. I won*t be able to do much for the next month, because most of my free money will go to physical therapy & my new bike. OH - & !!
…the JOURNEY concert, of course!! : D & hopefully the James concert in Anaheim.
All right, I could sit here for the entire night & write about everything in my head, but I*m going to do a lil reading because I never get time to anymore.
Hope everyone out there is having a great Friday night!
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| Where*s the soul, I wanna know... |
[17 Sep 2008|10:43pm] |
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I think Third Eye Blind*s song, Motorcycle Drive By is about an Aquarius.
( The lyrics. )
I just feel like it*s about the singer wanting more from the person he*s singing about... like they*re friends, & he wants more, but she doesn*t... & she*s naive about it all... very Aquarius of her. ; ) & talking about how the girl is guiltless & free... the whole song just reminds me of an Aquarius & the way it feels aches to like one. Off-topic - I love that line about "Where*s the soul, I wanna know... NYC is evil, the surface is everything, but I could never do that, someone would see through that..."
I have a hip flexor strain & I hate it. : ( I can*t workout for three weeks... that really bothers me. I was limping for a few days, but that*s gone & it*s starting to feel better, but I just miss running & strength training.
Other than that, things are well with me & I hope things are well with you, too. : )
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| Escuela! |
[14 Aug 2008|11:11pm] |
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I*m started a Film Studies class tonight & I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT! My teacher is HILARIOUS, & intelligent & thinks along the same lines as me.
A class where I get to watch movies for homework! Best!!
I was supposed to have a vacation day tomorrow, but I am so swamped at work right now that I said I would come in & use the vacation day next week - so three day work week next week! Seriously, though, I am burried to the part in my hair with stuff! We*re hiring for my old position to get me some help & free me up for more projects - YEAHHH! I absolutely LOVE being in the president*s office. It is so much more professional there. We had a really warm welcome, &&&!! We*ve had cake TWICE - & we*ve only been there since TUESDAY! My new cube is awesome, I swear I have the best "real estate" on the floor!
Sassy is being a brat tonight! We played for awhile earlier & then I started playing with Zoe too, & Sass has been giving me evil looks since. Lil buttface...
I need to take a year off of everything & travel. I haven*t gone anywhere outside of 1200 miles of Phoenix in four years. BUMMERRRRR. My city scapes community makes me lonnnnnng for travel. & seasons (my autumn & fall community amplifies that one!). & different cultures.
Meh. Someday soon. : ) : )
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| You*ve got the truth; now use it. |
[09 Aug 2008|12:38pm] |
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mood |
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 good |
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music |
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The Olympics |
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DONE. WITH. BIOLOGY!! : D That was definitely the toughest & most BS class I*ve taken since I started at UOP. My instructor had hearing aids (didn*t work very well!), & on top of that, there was a MASSIVE language barrier. I*m just glad to be done with it. Almost dropped with Geoff after the first week, but I needed the PHY/BIO credits & I didn*t want to lose my INCREDIBLE learning team. Anyway - I am NOT a C student, but I will be happy if I got a C in that one. DONE DONE DONE. : )
My department at work moves to the President*s office Monday. Our executive director got promoted to Associate VP, so my AMAZING supervisor was promoted to executive director, & I have a new boss. She wants to give me new responsibilities & we*re going to hire someone to do the standard Student Appeals stuff so I am open for new projects. LOVE IT. : )
Took a LOT of vacations last month & I*m hoping to hit the beach at least once more before it gets too cold.
I*m off to lunch with one of my soccer teammates!
OH - speaking of soccer - I*m not going to play till fall. : ( We need girls, so if anyone is interested, email me. Or comment here.
Hope everyone is well in ElJay land!
::edit:: One last OH! Did anyone else see the CNN Alert saying Isreal tossed missiles at Iran? I can*t find anything else about it, so I*m a lil curious...
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| NOM NOM NOM!! |
[07 Jul 2008|08:49pm] |
The Morning Star Farms soy "corndogs" are SO good!
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| Hello, LJ! |
[30 Jun 2008|06:57pm] |
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mood |
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content |
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Know where the line is, even if you decide to cross it.
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| In numbers. |
[05 Apr 2008|10:23am] |
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mood |
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I realized that since I started at UOP in August 2006, my salary has increased 71.5%!!
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| : D |
[08 Mar 2008|09:06pm] |
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mood |
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I got a coupon for a FREE cake from Fry*s! I truly believe it*s because I buy so many cakes. HAHA!!
P.S. Jerem makes the BEST lemondrops. I am not sure why he doesn*t bartend in his spare time.
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| I could still be ruthless if you*ll let me. |
[25 Feb 2008|09:12pm] |
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Quickquick!
::Cure tickets go on sale Sunday!
::Billy Blanks & his Tae Bo videos are the awesomeness!
::Jerem is the cutest turd I have ever seen.
::I haven*t been eating well or exercising right since Thanksgiving, & I am able to see it in my pictures. &&& I feel like crap - less energy, clothes don*t fit right, trouble sleeping... back on track today! I got a new bathing suit for motivation. : )
Hope everyone*s enjoying the fantastic weather we*ve been having! It*s glorious!
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| Presidential Debate |
[30 Jan 2008|06:47pm] |
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mood |
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 frustrated |
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This Republican presidential debate has GOT to be the shadiest thing I*ve ever seen on TV.
&&&... if McCain becomes President of the United States, I*m going to question the mental stability of everyone in this country.
DON*T LET IT HAPPEN!!
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| YUM!! |
[27 Jan 2008|07:12pm] |
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My sister makes this stuff called "broccoli bake" & it has officially taken over yams as my favorite food. YUM.
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| Holdin* out for a hero! |
[19 Jan 2008|01:06pm] |
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mood |
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with a slight hangover |
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We saw someone INTERPRETIVE DANCING at Retrospect last night. Best!
They*re having a Joy Division/New Order tribute night at Retrospect next week. If Mikey*s birthday isn*t in Flagstaff, I am THERE. : ) Exciting!
The Juno soundtrack is AMAZING. They actually have a really old Moldy Peaches song on there! Neat!
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| I*m ACTUALLY wearing a sweater vest. |
[10 Jan 2008|09:59pm] |
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As many times as I have laughed my ass off at sweater vests in the past, I actually WORE one today.
& I got this text message from a classmate while sitting in class tonight:
You can't wear sweater vests anymore... they are far too hot to wear to class.
ROFL!! WHEN did sweater vests become "hot"?! I love it! I think the preppy look suits me, because since my semi-annual sale shopping spree, I*ve been complimented a lot more than I do in my regular clothes.
Besides that, Coley made me this AMAZING birthday present:
She has been taking all the corks from our Wino Wednesdays for the last year, & she glued them all together & made me a corkboard out of them!! I can*t even count how many there are on there, but I know on one short side, there are 22 in one row. That means there are a LOT on there.
It*s the best gift anyone*s ever made me. : )
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| She just smiled & held my hand! |
[08 Jan 2008|11:53pm] |
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mood |
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 sleepy |
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Someone I was very close to once told me this song reminded her of me.
I absolutely love the video (though, I believe the song is cut short). All that yellow! : )
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| Back to routine. |
[07 Jan 2008|09:38pm] |
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mood |
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 cold |
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I LOVELOVELOVE semi-annual sale season!! I*ve probably spent $400 in the last month at New York & Company, Victoria*s Secret, & Bath & Body Works, & I have SUCH cute new stuff! Lovelovelove! : D I already can*t wait for the summer semi-annual sales!
...Uhm...
I just saw a McCain section on the news, & DON*T STOP BELIEVIN* was playin* in the background. W...T...F!?!?!?! Who said a republican could use a JOURNEY SONG?! Ugh. I am purely disgusted...
...Ahem...
I ran in my new Sauconys tonight, & they are so comfy that I am definitely going to start sleeping in them. : )
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